Water dripped from my washed face. Patting it dry, I looked at my nose; the spot was still there. I tried to calm my concerns and tell myself I was likely overreacting, but could not. My gut feeling told me something was wrong. I knew it was cancer.
The Last Few Years
I talk very little about my personal life. Honestly, the recent years have been tough. Yes, COVID brought challenges to the world and small business owners, but it was more than that. It was losing 22 people in a brief span of time, 9 of which were family members, most of whom died of non-COVID-related causes. Then, there was guiding my children through a pandemic and helping them navigate their lives in this strange world. Next, it was becoming the caregiver to my father-in-law after my mother-in-law’s passing. It was all of it. I felt a sense of things settling in 2024, but I was wrong.
Starting the year with a bang, my sister had an unfortunate accident, followed by the rapid health decline of my father-in-law in the spring. Getting calls from his area code in the middle of the day made my heart stop. The calls could be routine or cause me to drop everything. Taking care of him as he neared his death while trying to maintain balance and normalcy for my high school senior felt impossible. Like many friends, I am experiencing the joys of being in the sandwich generation. Then, after his passing, we learned my son would require surgery and a significant recovery over the summer. I broke down and was sad and angry at it all. Many times last year, I felt drained and wondered how to keep up the facade for others.
The Diagnosis
I faced a new challenge in September: a diagnosis of basal cell carcinoma (BCC) on my nose. Yale Medicine states that BCC accounts for 80% of all skin cancers. This type of cancer is slow-growing and rarely metastasizes. Individuals diagnosed with BCC have an average age of 70.6 years, but this diagnosis seems to be increasingly common in younger individuals – especially women. I needed to have Moh’s surgery. During this surgery, the doctor removes thin layers of skin and reviews them for cancer immediately as you wait. The process may require one pass or several, based on their findings. The good news is once they are done, you are cancer-free, with a success rate of 99%. The bad news? Entering, you have no clue how much they will change your face. Thankfully for me, it only required one pass, but it resulted in a 9 mm diameter hole in the surface of my nostril (thankfully, it did not extend into the nasal cavity). On the advice of my cousin, a PA with a history in plastics, I had a plastic surgeon brilliantly close the wound up the afternoon of the Moh’s procedure.
I see challenges as passing seasons in life. The season itself is not the issue; it is a part of life. The real question is how you navigate these seasons.
Maybe it is because it is November (my birthday month), or perhaps this experience caused me to pause and become contemplative, but I wanted to share my experiences and insights.
Research
After receiving that diagnosis in September, I scrambled to research options and coordinate surgery. Understanding your diagnosis and options is paramount; you are your own best advocate. If you must have Moh’s performed on your nose (or anywhere prominent on your face), ensure you have someone skilled in closure. I’d witnessed a botched Moh’s procedure on my grandmother’s face, so I was determined to avoid a similar outcome and found a plastic surgeon to perform my closure. He was nothing short of amazing in what he pulled off.
Eat Well
Healing requires a focus on eating well. This may sound obvious, but this is often overlooked. Whole foods rich in vitamin C, zinc, plenty of protein, and omega-3-rich foods are part of this. This is the time to feed your body what it needs to heal the tissue and reduce inflammation. While this is especially true post-surgery, eating well helped me get through the stress of this past year. Physical or otherwise, stress can deplete your body of things like B vitamins, magnesium, zinc, potassium, and vitamin C.
Rest and Regenerate
It is kind of sad, but honestly, it took a relatively minor surgery to make me realize just how much I’ve ignored the signals that my body needed to rest and regenerate. Maybe it was the final straw. Following the diagnosis, I cleared my schedule not only for the recovery but also for some time beforehand. I needed to give myself space. Each person regenerates differently. Perhaps you flourish in social settings, or maybe you, like me, prefer solitude. Do whatever speaks to you. For me, this is more retreating and spending time outdoors and exercising.
Incorporate Movement
I used to run, but now I prefer other types of movement. Individuals fixate on the idea that exercising requires a formal setting. My movement has always included weight training, yoga, and cycling, and now I have incorporated walks. Some days, it is only about walking outside in my neighborhood and surrounding trails. When you move and your muscles contract, myokines are released. These proteins help the body through improving blood sugar, brain health and, ironically, these also have anti-inflammatory effects on the body. Because I was told to wait a week before returning to the gym, I occupied myself by walking and including other types of movement after my surgery. It was as much for my mind as it also was to help reduce overall inflammation. Exercising and movement helped keep me somewhat sane through the various events of the last year as well.
Get and Accept Support
I am extraordinarily grateful for my support network. This past year, my friends and close family have not only been there to help me clear out my in-law’s house but also been there for my meltdown moments. During weekends spent looking after my father-in-law or going through years of belongings, we often received texts from friends informing us that dinner was ready and waiting for us. When looking for surgeons, many people flooded me with recommendations and offered to make personal calls to get me into various appointments sooner. As someone who is often the caretaker of everyone else, I am grateful for the support I received, and it made getting through all of it a lot easier.
Why I Wrote This
Why did I write this? I honestly don’t know, except to say I feel like there is so much that people are wrestling with right now. Sometimes life is hard; no one is immune to feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or completely burnt out, myself included. If facing challenges, remember it’s a temporary season, and you will overcome it. It’s okay to take time for yourself, regenerate, and not meet expectations (yours or anyone else’s). Most of all, know that you are not alone in your path.
